Chapter 1: Understanding Acceptance and Regret

In life, the principle stands: "You reap what you tolerate."

— Mike Ditka

This quote resonates deeply with me due to its multifaceted implications and the various contexts in which it can be applied. I often reinterpret it as:

“What you permit, you embody. What you dismiss, you evade.”

While some might argue against my interpretation, particularly those rooted in Freudian psychology, there's a significant truth here. Many creators grapple with feelings of existential dread, continually feeling that they could have achieved more.

However, there's an important reality we must confront: It's impossible to accomplish everything we are capable of. Ultimately, we will all leave this world with unfinished projects, unmet aspirations, and desires that remain unfulfilled.

To lead a fulfilling life and approach our final moments without regret, we must prioritize the essential by identifying what we deem unacceptable.

Among the myriad goals we aspire to, which ones would it be intolerable to leave unfulfilled by the end of our lives?

For instance, two of my grandparents never got the chance to read my work because I only began writing after their passing. This situation is regrettable but irreversible, as time travel isn’t an option.

I have an ambitious list of aspirations to pursue in my life. At 34 and in decent health, if I live to the average life expectancy of about 80 years, I have 46 years ahead of me. Yet, the unpredictability of life means any of us could leave this world at any moment.

To truly maximize our lives, we must outline what we find unacceptable and align our actions to prevent such outcomes. For my friend Tobi, it’s unacceptable for his children to grow up without a positive role model. He strives each day to be the best father possible, balancing his responsibilities as a CEO, husband, and writer.

For Daniel Vassallo, returning to a cubicle job he despises is not an option. He constantly engages in “small bets” to mitigate risks in new ventures, ensuring he remains independent and fulfilled.

Lex Fridman finds it unacceptable to let hate and division prevail; he dedicates himself to promoting love and understanding, particularly through his podcast.

By identifying what’s unacceptable, we can clarify the path to a life well-lived. If preventing health issues is non-negotiable, then prioritizing fitness becomes essential. If wasting hours on mindless content is intolerable, the answer is to create meaningful content. If taking loved ones for granted is unacceptable, then cultivating daily practices of gratitude and growth is key.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve shared my thoughts through various platforms:

• Newsletters
• Copywriting
• Articles on my main website
• Contributions to Psychology Today
• Guest articles for other outlets

While articles are valuable, they don’t have the enduring impact of a book. For years, I’ve aspired to write one, but I wanted to refine my writing skills first. Recently, I came to a realization: It is unacceptable for me not to have authored a book.

If I were to pass away tomorrow, my articles might linger online temporarily, but once my domain expires, they'd vanish. In contrast, a book could endure, resting on someone’s coffee table long after I’m gone.

Thus, this year, I am committing to writing a book. Whether it will be traditionally published or self-published is still uncertain, but it will focus on human flourishing and fulfillment.

Now I ask you, what is unacceptable for you?

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Chapter 2: Defining Your Legacy

The Legacy We Leave Behind: Nourishing Future Generations discusses how our actions today impact future generations, emphasizing the importance of intentional living.

What is the Legacy You Want to Leave? | Ayan Aden | TEDxDeMontfortUWomen invites you to reflect on the legacy you wish to create, encouraging a deeper understanding of personal impact.