Navigating the Emotional Spectrum: From Sadness to Joy
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Understanding Our Emotional Landscape
In today's society, there’s a prevailing belief that we should be happy every moment of our lives. If we’re not experiencing joy, it can feel like a personal failure. From an early age, we learn that emotions such as sadness are undesirable, leading us to believe that anything uncomfortable must be avoided. Yet, these so-called "negative" feelings can actually provide valuable insights. As I explored in another piece titled "The Value of Sadness," it's essential to acknowledge and process our emotions.
When we attempt to dismiss our negative feelings, they tend to linger longer. I spent years convinced that by mastering my thoughts, I could effortlessly shift from sadness to happiness. Many self-help resources promote the notion that our mindset dictates our emotions, asserting that “life is 10% what happens and 90% how you respond.” However, without proper context, such statements can misleadingly suggest that simply thinking positively will solve our emotional struggles. If we find ourselves enveloped in sadness, it's easy to feel as though we’ve failed.
Transitioning from sorrow to joy is not an instant jump, but rather a series of gradual steps. To facilitate this journey, it is crucial to understand the emotions that exist between these two states.
The Emotional Guidance Scale
In their work "Ask and It is Given," Esther and Jerry Hicks present the Abraham-Hicks Emotional Guidance Scale. This tool encourages us to assess our current emotional state and identify where we aspire to be. By recognizing the spectrum of emotions that lie in between, we gain a clearer perspective on the effort required for emotional progression. We cannot leap from sadness to happiness without navigating the feelings that connect them.
This scale allows us to advance towards more positive emotions incrementally:
- Joy/Appreciation/Empowerment/Freedom/Love
- Passion
- Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
- Positive Expectation/Belief
- Optimism
- Hopefulness
- Contentment
- Boredom
- Pessimism
- Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
- Overwhelm
- Disappointment
- Doubt
- Worry
- Blame
- Discouragement
- Anger
- Revenge
- Hatred/Rage
- Jealousy
- Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
- Fear/Grief/Desperation/Despair
- Powerlessness
The Emotional Word Wheel
One limitation of the Abraham-Hicks Emotional Scale is its omission of sadness, a fundamental emotion. To address this, we can refer to the Emotional Word Wheel by Geoffrey Roberts, which categorizes various feelings associated with sadness.
Here are some emotions connected to sadness, along with their placement on the Emotional Guidance Scale:
- Hurt — Disappointment (#12)
- Depressed
- Guilty (#21)
- Despair (#22)
- Lonely
- Vulnerable
Applying the Emotional Guidance Scale and Word Wheel
To effectively utilize the Emotional Guidance Scale and the Emotional Word Wheel, follow these steps:
- Identify Your Emotion: If uncertain, consider a range of emotions, such as "Am I feeling blame or disappointment?" and determine which resonates most.
- Ascertain the Next Level Emotion: For instance, if you’re feeling disappointment (#12), the next step may be to acknowledge overwhelm (#11).
- Cultivate Thoughts of Relief: Begin with specific thoughts like, “I’m disappointed about not getting the job,” and gradually shift to “I’ve been overwhelmed lately, which affected my performance.”
- Explore Actions for Progress: Ask yourself, “What can I do to transition to the next level?” Consider external factors contributing to your feelings, such as financial strain or environmental stressors.
- Create a Daily Action Plan: List manageable tasks that could alleviate feelings of overwhelm and schedule one per day on your calendar. This incremental approach boosts confidence and helps ease the transition to the next emotional level.
Over time, as you implement these strategies, you may notice a shift in your emotional state, sometimes in just a few minutes, although deeper emotions may require more time.
Two Additional Techniques to Elevate Your Emotions
In "Ask and It is Given," the authors outline 22 methods to ascend the Emotional Guidance Scale, each tailored for specific emotional states. Here are two techniques that I find particularly beneficial:
- (4–16) Adopt a Positive Mindset: Ask yourself, “Wouldn’t it be nice if…?” This practice shifts your energy from negativity to positivity, fostering a lighter outlook.
- (8–17) Clarify Your Desires: Being in a negative emotional space can provide clarity regarding what you truly want, as you gain insight from your current experiences.
What Can We Do While Waiting for Change?
Emotional healing is rarely instantaneous. It may take weeks or months to transition from sadness to happiness. So, what can we do during this period?
I recently came across a technique called Release Writing, which has significantly aided my emotional processing.
This method, adapted from Christine Hassler's "Expectation Hangover," involves:
- Using Pen and Paper: Writing engages neural pathways that help release emotions.
- Listing What You Wish to Release: Examples may include forgiving family members or letting go of the need for success. If you're unsure, proceed to step four.
- Selecting One Emotion to Release: Focus on a single item from your list.
- Writing Freely: Allow your thoughts to flow without editing or interpreting them. This can include prompts like “to move on I need to…”
- Practicing Daily: Aim for 10 minutes of writing each day. It’s okay to miss days, but consistency enhances the process.
- Disposing of the Paper: After writing, tear up the page and discard it. Re-reading can inadvertently recycle the emotions instead of releasing them.
Initially, this practice may feel awkward or pointless, but it becomes more natural with time.
The Emotional Guidance Scale has illuminated the multitude of feelings that exist between sadness and happiness. It has allowed me to embrace the pace of my emotional journey without guilt for not being able to rapidly switch states. Like many aspects of life, emotional healing is a gradual process.
With patience and intention, we can navigate our emotional landscapes and progress from sadness to joy.
This video titled "Why do depressed people experience extreme mood swings?" delves into the complex emotional fluctuations that accompany depression, offering insights into understanding these dynamics.
The second video, "Learn To Talk with Ms Rachel - Toddler Learning Video," is an engaging resource for helping young children understand colors, numbers, emotions, and feelings.