Exploring Expressive Writing in Finnish for Personal Growth
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In recent times, I’ve found myself feeling somewhat trapped by my circumstances, while simultaneously making remarkable strides in my Finnish language skills. This juxtaposition has created a sense of cognitive dissonance within me. I can see my progress in speaking Finnish, yet the backdrop of my life feels stagnant.
Back in the winter of 2022, while living in Portland, Oregon, an unexpected ice storm paralyzed the city. I was on a city bus that became stuck behind a line of immobile vehicles for three long hours. To pass the time, I listened to Finnish podcasts, grateful that at least I was in a warm bus and gaining valuable Finnish practice.
During this time, my company’s group chat lit up with discussions about the storm. I shared my predicament, expecting my colleagues to find it amusing, similar to how my friends in Boston might react. However, I was met with sympathetic responses: “Chris, I’m so sorry you’re going through that!”
“No! This is meant to be funny!” I thought to myself, feeling misunderstood.
Then, a coworker of Finnish descent reminded me, “Chris, remember your Finnish sisu!”
Sisu is a unique Finnish concept that embodies extraordinary resilience in the face of challenges. This message has stuck with me, and I often reflect on it. I realize that I need to take significant steps to improve not just my language skills, but my overall life situation.
The risk-taker within me has been dormant for a while, but I sense it awakening. I believe that the extent of my future achievements is directly related to the challenges I’m willing to confront now. My current comfort is fostering mental resistance, which I’ve explored in a previous piece titled “Living in My Car Got Me a Dream Job.”
This morning, I contemplated the many paths my life could take concerning the Finnish language. Should I move to New York and connect with the thousands of Finnish expatriates there? Over the last few months, I’ve explored Finnish expat groups on Facebook, where I’ve been welcomed with open arms when expressing my desire to meet local speakers. The Suomalaiset New Yorkissa group boasts 3,500 members, and surprisingly, numerous Finns reside even in smaller towns.
Alternatively, should I take the plunge and travel directly to Finland, embracing the unknown? My last visit in 2021 reminded me how quickly the three-month Schengen visa limit can vanish. As an American, I can only stay for three months every six months in most of Europe.
Currently, the Finnish immigration process is beyond my reach. I would need Finnish clients to justify an entrepreneurial visa, rather than simply transferring my U.S.-based architecture work.
Nonetheless, frequent visits could help me forge meaningful long-term connections, even without an immigration route. To visit Finland four times a year, I would require a solid architecture job in an affordable U.S. city, perhaps in the Midwest. However, I worry that if I view that city merely as a stepping stone to Finland, I won’t appreciate it fully. Additionally, I’d raise eyebrows among my new employers if I took long weekends to Finland every three months.
The Importance of Being Open to New Possibilities
I also ponder whether Finnish is my ultimate language or just a stepping stone. Could it be the language that teaches me how to learn other languages? Finnish strikes a balance between “easier” European languages and “harder” Asian languages. Am I limiting my life by tying all my aspirations to Finnish?
Being open to various outcomes could enrich my life significantly. It’s often when we close ourselves off to possibilities that nothing transformative occurs. I could find myself in Moscow, Paris, or Hong Kong, all of which would present unique experiences, not necessarily linked to learning Finnish.
Fortunately, my passion for the Finnish language drives me to continue learning, regardless of immigration outcomes. Whenever I’ve ended up in wonderful situations in the past, they were often unexpected. Even when I moved to Australia, I envisioned living in either Perth or Adelaide but ultimately settled in Sydney, which turned out to be an excellent decision.
These unexpected opportunities make life vibrant and fulfilling. While my rational mind debates between “Finland or New York?”, I believe the universe has a way of presenting me with unexpected choices.
As I contemplated this, I noticed a caterpillar crawling along my window screen. Curious about its symbolism, I asked ChatGPT, which informed me that caterpillars signify growth, transformation, and rebirth. I often notice various animals, but something about that caterpillar felt especially meaningful.
The Magic of Dragonflies
When I hiked the 270-mile Long Trail in Vermont with my dad and brother at 14, we paused on a sunny overlook for lunch, completely drenched in sweat and besieged by blackflies. Almost magically, a swarm of dragonflies arrived and devoured the blackflies in minutes, turning a potentially miserable lunch into a delightful experience. Since that moment, I’ve felt a connection to dragonflies.
Recently, while unloading my car, a dragonfly flew in and became trapped between the dashboard and windshield. It was painful to watch as it struggled against the glass. I opened all four doors, but it didn’t escape until I gently encouraged it.
I began asking ChatGPT about dragonflies (sudenkorento) in Finnish. I learned that they also symbolize growth and transformation. What troubled me was how this dragonfly was striving to fly “through” the glass, rather than simply turning around to exit through the door.
Could this signify an unseen obstacle in my own life? Or maybe it indicates that my significant struggles are behind me? Perhaps it’s a bit of both.
I appreciate how universal signs can be interpreted in various ways. These ambiguous messages allow us to reflect more deeply on our desires. Even if one views life as chaotic and meaningless, moments like this can provoke thought about what we truly want.
Venting My Life Frustrations to ChatGPT in Finnish
While I express my emotions in writing, I hesitate to share my unfiltered thoughts. Expressive writing captures a full range of human feelings. After a recent psychedelic experience, I realized that letting out my emotions could be quite beneficial.
I decided to express my feelings in Finnish through ChatGPT.
#### My Expressive Writing Process
My expressive writing process involves several steps:
- I inform ChatGPT that I want corrections for my Finnish sentences. If I’m unsure about a specific word, I insert the English term within my Finnish text. This method works well since Finnish, like English, follows an SVO (subject-verb-object) structure. I’m curious how this would function with a VSO language like Irish, but I’ll report back once my Irish improves. I keep my messages concise, usually 2–3 sentences.
- ChatGPT provides me with the grammatically correct version, seamlessly integrating any English words into Finnish. I compare the corrected text with my original to identify my mistakes, ensuring that new words are accurately interpreted and my tenses are appropriate. I often confuse past and present tenses.
- I read the corrected version aloud three times. If a particular word is long and unfamiliar, I may repeat it ten times or more.
- I continue this process for the next 2–3 sentences. I’m often surprised at how quickly time passes when I’m so engaged.
Concluding Thoughts and Outcomes
Using emotionally charged language is incredibly effective for enhancing my speaking skills. You truly don’t grasp a word until you use it yourself, despite hearing or reading it countless times. Writing and speaking solidify new vocabulary in your mind.
An unexpected benefit of this process has been the revelation that my seemingly overwhelming life issues become simpler when articulated in straightforward Finnish. I noticed a similar effect when discussing my architecture projects with my Finnish teacher.
I appreciated that this was a one-way conversation; ChatGPT couldn’t provide generic feedback that didn’t apply to my unique situation. It was just me processing my frustrations in simple Finnish.
Additionally, I’m addressing forms of resistance I can handle right now, like doing push-ups. Completing 100 push-ups daily for eight consecutive days has made a remarkable difference. I feel empowered in the mornings, rather than languishing in comfort.
If the universe truly wanted to “push me out,” it would have done so a long time ago. There’s no great outcome in life without corresponding struggle.
The following day, I engaged in another expressive writing session, this time without any frustration—just strategizing. I also recalled many of the Finnish words I had learned just days prior. Typically, it would take me months to internalize new vocabulary through passive media consumption.
I eagerly anticipate the next unexpected opportunity that awaits me, and I feel ready for a transformative move that will open new doors. Learning Finnish without native speakers nearby doesn’t mean I can’t continue if I choose a different linguistic environment.
Reflecting on my psychedelic trip in Mexico, where I was inspired to learn Finnish, reminds me of the importance of being open to new experiences. Before my journey, the healers I met posed a simple yet profound question: “Are you open?”
The possibilities of the future will only unfold if we remain receptive to them.