Overcoming Fear of Sharing: A Journey of Vulnerability and Growth
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Chapter 1: The Fear of Vulnerability
Many writers grapple with the fear of exposing their true selves, often held back by the thought of how others might react.
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
Don’t Read the Comments
Brené Brown, a leading authority on shame and vulnerability, experienced profound distress after her TED Talk gained immense popularity. She found herself overwhelmed, seeking refuge in her home while indulging in peanut butter and binge-watching Downton Abbey, trying to escape the harshness of online criticism.
Her husband cautioned her, “Stay away from the comments,” yet she still faced a barrage of cruel remarks, including personal attacks regarding her appearance and professional integrity. Although her talk reshaped our understanding of love, belonging, and leadership, it also plunged her into feelings of shame and despair. Brown described shame as the sensation of being surrounded by people who know you, only to hear them express hurtful opinions that make you feel unworthy of facing them again.
Reflecting on her journey, she shared, “I put my whole self out there,” revealing the burden that comes with vulnerability.
Chapter 2: The Early Experiences of Shame
I was just four years old when I first experienced the weight of putting myself on display. Clad in an uncomfortable poodle costume, I stood under glaring lights, feeling exposed and embarrassed. My tights were too large, and I found myself in tears as the performance ended without any video evidence to mark this moment. It remains etched in my memory as a formative experience of vulnerability.
What does it truly mean to “put yourself out there”? A simple search can yield various interpretations, including being visible, sharing your emotions, and confronting your fears.
Section 2.1: Everyone’s a Critic
In Episode 695 of This American Life, author Michael Schulman discusses the impact of criticism on his work. Despite receiving predominantly positive reviews, he fixated on the negative ones. This obsession reveals the inherent challenge of being a public figure; even when the majority of feedback is supportive, the voices of dissent can overshadow them.
As I embarked on my writing journey, I started a blog not to gain popularity but to share my life’s stories. My early posts were rooted in humor and authenticity, detailing the ups and downs of new parenthood. Over the years, my writing evolved as I navigated the complexities of motherhood and personal growth.
Subsection 2.1.1: The Challenge of Vulnerability
Writing has become a way for me to engage in a dialogue with myself, exploring the contrasts of my experiences as a mother and wife. Each essay I publish requires me to confront my insecurities, exposing my innermost thoughts to an audience.
Why do I continue this journey? If my words resonate with even one person, helping them feel less alone, it makes the vulnerability worthwhile.
In the video, "It's OK To Be Scared To Put Yourself Out There (I Sure Am)," Brené Brown discusses the challenges of vulnerability and how to navigate the fear associated with putting oneself on display.
Subsection 2.1.2: The Reality of Criticism
While the majority of feedback on my work has been positive, criticism still stings. Some individuals question why I share so much of my personal life, and I’ve faced pointed remarks about my writing. However, I refuse to let this deter me.
Friends remind me that engaging with controversial topics invites scrutiny, but I must remain steadfast in my mission to share authentic experiences.
The second video, "Scared to Put Yourself Out There? 5 Easy Ways to Start," provides practical strategies for overcoming the fear of sharing your thoughts and feelings with the world.
Section 2.2: Embracing Growth
Opening myself to a broader audience is daunting. This year, my goal is to improve as a writer and expand my reach, which includes learning to handle criticism without allowing it to hinder my passion.
In the end, it’s essential to remember that vulnerability can lead to connection. Even when faced with negativity, sharing our stories can foster understanding and community.