Navigating the Complex World of Dating and Healing
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Understanding the Impact of Unhealed Individuals
Have you ever wondered why so many people struggle to find meaningful connections? The reality is that many are on a quest for love, yet they often fail to see the underlying issues that hinder their success. Society tends to overlook the importance of self-awareness, emphasizing consumerism instead. We are conditioned to perceive each other as commodities; dating apps have turned finding a partner into a shopping experience. However, no application exists that allows us to navigate our emotional traumas or heal our past wounds.
It's a universal truth that we all carry some form of trauma — it’s part of the human experience. Yet, those who are healed can transcend their past. It’s astonishing how many remain unhealed and make no effort to change.
Dating can often feel disheartening.
Not long ago, I found the love of my life through a dating app. Despite our imperfections and the ups and downs, our love was genuine. Tragically, he passed away unexpectedly. His presence opened my eyes to my true self and taught me invaluable lessons about love and acceptance. Through him, I discovered what it means to experience unconditional love and to heal alongside someone who is also on a journey of self-discovery. Because of this, I refuse to settle for less in my future relationships.
Lately, I have encountered numerous social media posts lamenting the difficulties of dating. I feel compelled to share that the root of these challenges often lies deeper than merely blaming others. You shouldn’t have to accept anything less than extraordinary in your life. However, achieving this requires some serious introspection and commitment to personal growth.
The individuals who ghost you or manipulate your feelings are likely unhealed themselves. This is equally true for you; we all carry some degree of unhealed pain. While you cannot dictate another person's healing journey, you can focus on your own.
Focusing on Your Inner Self
How do you respond when faced with controlling or judgmental behavior? Do you tolerate it? How much are you willing to endure? Accepting the flaws of others to your own detriment is a common pitfall.
In the past, I would often excuse my partners' behaviors, thinking, "People can change." While I still believe in the power of transformation, I’ve learned that it’s not my responsibility to wait indefinitely for that change to happen.
What steps are you taking to shape your own narrative? Look inward. Instead of reacting with anger when someone hurts you, reflect on whether you are inadvertently inviting that behavior into your life. It’s not solely about them; it’s about how you choose to treat yourself. If someone ghosts you or behaves poorly, simply walk away. You deserve better.
The key is to preemptively decide how you will treat yourself. Establish standards for the kind of behavior you will accept in your life — healed behavior, characterized by mutual respect between mature adults.
Embracing Joy Regardless of Circumstances
If you work towards your own healing, attracting others will become effortless. However, the irony is that you may find yourself less focused on that pursuit, as you will be content simply living your life.
Desperation leads to unhealthy searching. Instead of fishing for validation, recognize the abundance that already exists within you. Fixating on external factors such as possessions or relationships reveals a lack of healing. True growth requires you to look inward and appreciate what you possess. Remain in a state of gratitude.
You are alive. You possess talents. You are intelligent. You understand the healing process. Celebrate these qualities. Having a partner will not diminish or create your intrinsic worth. A truly fulfilling relationship can enhance your life journey, but it cannot define your value.
Managing Attention from Unhealed Admirers
As you heal, you may find that unhealed individuals are drawn to you. This can serve as a test from the universe, challenging you to evaluate your growth. How well have you healed? How much negativity are you willing to tolerate?
Unhealed individuals often treat others as mere objects, lacking appreciation for genuine love. They seek distractions to avoid confronting their issues, chasing fleeting experiences instead of introspection. They may boast about adventures but will shy away from deep conversations or moments of reflection.
When you share your healing journey with them, they might not grasp its significance. Often, they will try to dictate how you should heal without understanding your journey.
I used to live that lifestyle, constantly seeking external validation through travel and excitement. Now, I recognize it for what it is: a distraction. When I encounter this behavior in others, I simply walk away. Having experienced profound love and the fleeting nature of life, I refuse to waste my time on those who lack self-awareness.
Now that you have embarked on your healing journey, you are equipped with the wisdom to walk away from those who do not resonate with your growth.
Hi, I’m Emily. I explore consciousness, philosophy, and existential considerations. With a master's degree in philosophy and credentials as a meditation coach, I aim to assist others on their spiritual journeys. For more information on my services, please visit my website.
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