Chapter 1: Understanding Identity

How would you characterize yourself at this point in your life? Imagine meeting someone new — what essential details would you share about yourself? Alternatively, if a friendly interviewer asked you about your personal life outside of work, what would be your focus?

Take a glimpse at my Medium bio for an example: I'm a Russian immigrant living in the U.S., a father of four, a runner, and a writer. I reference my education at Cambridge and Harvard, as they represent significant milestones in my life, despite the fact that, had I sold a billion-dollar company, I might not have emphasized my academic background as much.

Now, let’s delve deeper into the concept of identity. Which part of your life, if taken away, would lead to substantial emotional turmoil? For me, losing the ability to run for an extended time would be devastating, as running is my greatest passion.

Similarly, the potential end of my twenty-five-year partnership would be heart-wrenching. I would find a way to move on, but my ideals would be profoundly challenged, leading to disillusionment with life itself.

Is your identity primarily shaped by your internal views, or is it closely linked to your interactions with the outside world? Does it derive from your skills and accomplishments, or does it stem from the character you’ve forged through life's challenges?

Has your sense of self remained constant over the years? Were you the same person a decade or two ago? Has your identity shifted due to changes in your personal or professional life? Is identity even a crucial concept, or is it just a temporary social construct?

These questions linger in my mind, and I find myself uncertain about the answers. Recently, I read a piece addressing identity that cautioned against allowing one aspect of your life to define you. I agree with this sentiment; if you overly identify with a single part of your existence, the potential fallout from its disruption can be severe, leading to disappointment and mental health struggles.

Yet, I believe that the risk-reward dynamic plays a significant role in how we form our identities. Sometimes, a deep commitment to a specific pursuit can yield remarkable benefits. Striving for excellence often requires an obsessive focus, prioritizing that passion, and blurring the lines between it and other facets of life. Yes, we do intertwine our identities with our pursuits, and that's perfectly fine.

Ultimately, I challenge the conventional wisdom that advises against closely linking your identity to one particular aspect of life. While it’s ideal to have a broader perspective, it seems natural to construct our sense of self around our passions and circumstances, even if those circumstances are ever-changing. After all, what in life is not transient?

We all need to feel proficient in something, whether it’s in our careers, family life, or sports. Much of our identity revolves around pride in our achievements and the positive aspects of our lives.

Another perspective is this: instead of rejecting the idea of associating our identities with specific pursuits, we should focus on reinventing ourselves within those activities or in new areas.

Are you a writer or content creator? Embrace that identity, but remain adaptable. Consider musicians who recycle their greatest hits without evolving — that's rarely a sustainable path for creativity.

Are you a runner? Explore coaching opportunities.

Additionally, venture beyond your current interests. Try new hobbies, travel, engage with new people, launch a business, start a social media channel, and unleash your creativity.

Being deeply involved in certain activities and shaping your identity around them doesn’t preclude you from exploring new experiences. Occasionally, you may discover something transformative, while at other times, you might find yourself maintaining a singular focus on your identity, and that’s perfectly acceptable too.

I share my thoughts on running through my Substack:

The first video provides quick tips on screenwriting, emphasizing the importance of not tying your identity to your accomplishments. It offers insights into maintaining a healthy perspective on success and personal identity.

The second video discusses navigating identity beyond the realm of sports and highlights the significance of mental health, illustrating the broader implications of identity in various life contexts.