Chapter 1: The Initial Appeal of Alcohol

At a certain point in my life, I found myself relying on alcohol just to get by. My sensitivity to emotions was overwhelming; joyful moments could send me into ecstasy, while conflicts left me feeling nauseous. The most devastating experience was the heartbreak I faced.

By the age of 15, I was desperate to escape my intense feelings and sought relief from the persistent pain. Observing how alcohol brought joy to my father, I decided to give it a try. A shot of vodka provided immediate relief, enveloping me in a warm, soothing sensation that seemed to calm my restless mind.

For the next 24 years, alcohol became my go-to remedy. It was easily accessible, affordable, legal, and portable—everything I needed to manage fear, social anxiety, sadness, and discomfort. It erased unpleasant memories and lifted my spirits.

Each weekend, alcohol transformed gatherings into celebrations. However, as time passed, my body became reliant on it for basic functioning. What started as a temporary escape morphed into a necessity to alleviate withdrawal symptoms like trembling and headaches.

I reached a breaking point, realizing that if I didn't quit drinking, I might not survive.

Early recovery felt like a waking nightmare. I was overwhelmed with nausea, my head throbbed as if caught in a vice, my mouth was parched, and even the slightest effort to open my eyes was excruciating. After a week, I sank into despair, unable to envision life without alcohol. My anger towards fellow AA members grew, and I contemplated faking my recovery by drinking "just a little" or "not as much." This led to a breakdown, and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Now, I manage my condition with prescribed medication, which means I still rely on drugs, but these are under medical supervision.

So, is alcohol worth it?

Some might argue in favor of it at first. However, drinking is akin to engaging in a perilous battle. It can be exhilarating yet fraught with danger, with a high risk of harm or even death. The time and money spent on drinking, coupled with the aftermath of recovery, is significant. Loved ones worry but often feel powerless to help. You might convince yourself that you're not causing harm, but the reality is that alcohol can wreak havoc on lives and relationships. You’re faced with a choice: continue drinking to numb the pain or embrace sobriety and confront the accompanying shame and guilt.

In the end, just like in warfare, there are no true victors.

This video explores the various types of whiskey to enjoy on different kinds of days, shedding light on how alcohol can affect our moods and experiences.

In this video, the hosts share their experience of drinking alcohol for 12 consecutive hours and the dramatic changes it brought to their appearances, illustrating the physical toll of excessive drinking.

Chapter 2: The Consequences of Alcohol Dependency

The cycle of addiction can create a false sense of security, but it ultimately leads to a path of destruction.