Finding Solitude: The Oasis Within Modern Life
Written on
Chapter 1: The Search for Stillness
“Engage in life or resign yourself to fading away.” — The Shawshank Redemption
“The contemporary world offers little space for mystery or reflection, Elizabeth.”
This poignant statement resonates deeply, reminding me of what initially led me to this monastery: Pico Iyer's essay on the Joy of Quiet. A well-known advertising executive gently inquires about the value of stillness. Imagine a cliff-side retreat in Big Sur, charging $2500 per night, devoid of TV or internet. Designer Philippe Starck speaks on fostering creativity through disengagement from constant awareness.
“But how can we achieve this, Friar? Many individuals cannot afford to abandon their lives for a hermitage. Responsibilities, careers, family obligations…”
“Discover the oasis within your desert. I am a trained social worker, Elizabeth. Have you ever visited London?”
“Yes, it's a lovely city, vibrant and bustling!” I responded.
He smiled knowingly.
“Indeed! In London, I had specific spots where I sought solitude. A quieter section of the park, less traveled. I would sit there, immerse myself in nature, and reflect on my experiences. Find your oasis where you are.”
At that moment, he shared a thought that resonated with me.
“Most people don’t manage to find that space,” the monk remarked.
“What do you mean?” I inquired.
“Some view Cancun as an escape. It’s simpler to drown your sorrows in drink, to indulge in partying and entertainment. That’s the easy path, but it often leads to self-destruction and can harm others.”
I understood his perspective. The living dead: existing while numbing pain with substances, food, alcohol, and sometimes excessive work, to avoid feeling. Brene Brown, the best-selling author and speaker, often discusses this.
Philippe Starck, the celebrated French designer, beautifully articulates a philosophy on life in our modern era:
“There must be a spirit of generosity. How do you reach a stage in life where you can contribute meaningfully to your community, your society?”
Chapter 2: The Flame of Life
When I attended acting school (yes, I once pursued acting), my Cuban-American instructor, Teresa Rojas, imparted wisdom I’ll always cherish. This idea is rooted in the teachings of Stanislavsky, the father of modern acting:
“Outside, life is filled with distractions. Your mission is to keep the flame alive. Nurture that fire! It makes you more human than the rest.”
There’s a pivotal scene in The Shawshank Redemption. You know it well — where Andy tells Red, “In the end, it boils down to a simple choice — get busy living or get busy dying.”
The Monk, Philippe Starck, Andy, and Teresa all grasp this truth, and so do you.
This marks the ninth edition of Liz’s Newsletter — Fall Series, reflecting on her silent retreat at a Benedictine Monastery in Big Sur, California. Elizabeth Ayoub grew up in a secular Muslim Lebanese family in Caracas, Venezuela. If this story resonated with you, consider subscribing to her newsletter; she would appreciate it if you shared it as well.