Chapter 1: Understanding the Essence of Romance

Every concept has its beginnings.

• Human Connections.
• Geographical Locations.
• Material Objects.

Romance is no exception. In this piece, I will delve into the unexpected origins of romance.

Before we proceed, it's essential to clarify one point: the experience of love is as ancient as humanity itself. Philosophers like Plato described love as a divine madness, while playwright Euripides articulated, "Love, you are the bringer of pain, you are madness, and you have caused the fall of many." Similarly, Roman poet Ovid likened love to a battlefield.

The essence of love is not new; however, the concept of romance is a different story altogether.

Romance represents more than just an emotional experience; it embodies a cultural phenomenon. In earlier times, falling in love was often viewed negatively, whereas today, it is widely celebrated. Thinkers like Plato and Euripides recognized the irrational behaviors that love can provoke, which were not deemed appealing. Yet now, it seems that the allure of love captivates nearly everyone, often leading to delusional infatuations. This shift can largely be attributed to the way romance is curated in contemporary society.

The notion of limerence—an intense yearning for someone who does not reciprocate—has been glamorized. We’ve all witnessed films where a man goes to great lengths to declare his affection for a woman, whether it’s blasting music outside her window or showering her with gifts. In reality, such pursuits rarely yield results, but in films, the infatuated individual often achieves his goal.

So, where did the idea of romance originate?

As explained by author Denis de Rougemont, romantic love began to take shape in the 11th or 12th century, specifically in the South of France. Is it merely coincidental that the French are often viewed as the world's foremost romantics? Likely not. During this era, a popular pagan sect called the Cathars thrived until they were suppressed by the Catholic Church for their unorthodox beliefs. By 1350, the entire group had been eradicated, yet they attempted to appease the church by secularizing some of their practices. It was during this transformation that the foundations of romantic love emerged.

Thus, although the Cathar sect was extinguished, their influence laid the groundwork for a new cultural phenomenon: the cult of romantic love. This reveals an intriguing truth: the origin of romantic love is steeped in religious context.

Surprising, isn’t it? This historical backdrop elucidates many facets of romantic love that might otherwise seem perplexing. For instance, consider the language surrounding romance—terms such as devotion, worship, and adoration all carry religious connotations. Many modern songs, if taken out of context, could easily pass as prayers. Titles like "Unchained Melody," "Every Breath You Take," and "With Or Without You" resonate with a spiritual fervor, suggesting that if the object of desire were replaced with a deity, they could easily be interpreted as hymns.

This insight can also shed light on the profound emotions experienced during romantic entanglements. Experiencing romance is truly something one must feel to comprehend fully.

I vividly recall my initial experience with love—it was a whirlwind of ecstasy and turmoil. At times, I felt invincible, but a minor setback would send my world tumbling down. This volatility stemmed from the fact that I had placed all my emotional power in the other person, nearly idolizing them.

This dynamic can create numerous complications. Regardless of who the person may be, they should never be venerated as a divine entity—whether it’s a charismatic leader or a beloved partner.

I hope you found these insights enlightening. Thank you for taking the time to read,

Godfrey

Click here for my free book on persuasion principles.

Chapter 2: The Cultural Shift in Romance

Exploring the unexpected history of romantic love, this video delves into its origins and cultural significance.

This video examines the etymology of the word "romance," tracing its roots and evolution through history.