# The Emotional Science of Crying: Understanding Our Tears
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Chapter 1: Introduction to Crying
As someone who often finds themselves in tears, I've come to realize the spectrum of crying behaviors. Some individuals seem to cry as often as they breathe, while others view tears as unwelcome intruders. In today’s world, where various stressors affect our emotional states, I often ponder why crying is a daily occurrence for many—including myself—while others remain emotionally stoic, even when confronted with distressing news or sad films. After all, we share the same human experience.
In our early years, crying is a matter of survival. However, as we develop language skills, it transforms from a mere biological function into a form of empathetic expression. Uniquely among mammals, humans produce emotional tears. Behavioral neurologist Michael Trimble noted in a 2012 op-ed for the New York Times that specific brain pathways activate instantly and unconsciously when we witness someone else's emotional pain. This evolution of such pathways has fostered compassion and civilization itself. Therefore, crying is not just a reaction; it embodies our humanity, allowing us to express vulnerability and signal our existence to others.
Crying serves as a powerful communicator of profound emotional states—be it joy, humor, or sorrow—that often resist verbal articulation. It’s akin to wearing a label that declares, “Hello, my emotional reservoir has overflowed; I trust you understand.” Nevertheless, there are particular environments where we feel safe enough to let that emotional dam break. According to Dr. Lauren Bylsma, an assistant professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh, crying is more likely to occur in situations deemed socially acceptable, where one can expect supportive reactions—like at home with close friends rather than in a formal setting surrounded by acquaintances. Those who cry frequently might engage in more intimate daily interactions, allowing them to express their true selves more comfortably.
Crying and Gender: The Cultural Divide
Research indicates that gender differences may also influence crying patterns. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology in 2019 revealed that women tend to cry more than men, primarily due to hormonal variations that emerge during puberty. Psychologist Ad Vingerhoets points out that testosterone—the male hormone—appears to inhibit tears. Additionally, societal norms often discourage men from displaying vulnerability, while women are generally given more freedom to express their emotions. This cultural narrative often paints women as overly emotional or manipulative, a trope perpetuated throughout literary history.
Regardless of the underlying reasons, crying remains a vital outlet for articulating complex emotions that words can barely capture. Poet Heather Christle, in her work The Crying Book, suggests that our tears may not always reflect a clear reason; instead, they may signify feelings that hover just out of reach. After shedding tears, I often feel as if a flickering light within me has been reignited—I reconnect with my personal narrative.
There’s also evidence supporting the notion that crying can stem from feelings of helplessness. Jonathan Rottenberg, an emotion researcher at the University of South Florida, explained in a 2016 TIME interview that crying indicates to ourselves and others that we are grappling with an important issue that feels beyond our capacity to manage. This instinctual behavior is deeply rooted in the origins of crying.
The Complexity of Crying: Understanding Variations
While we lack definitive explanations for why some individuals never cry, both Bylsma and Vingerhoets acknowledge that factors such as medication, illness, depression, and trauma can lead to a complete cessation of tears. However, this should not be misconstrued as a pathological condition without considering the normal variations in emotional expression. Bylsma cautions against labeling these differences as abnormal unless they significantly disrupt one’s social functioning.
To better comprehend my own emotional responses, I documented everything that made me cry over the course of a week. The results were quite revealing. I found myself tearing up at movies, sentimental commercials, and even familiar TV show moments. I cried while preparing for a night out and again while watching an elderly musician perform for a vibrant audience. What linked these experiences was their ability to evoke intense emotions that rendered me speechless. As a writer, my identity hinges on my capacity to articulate thoughts; in those moments of losing that ability, crying becomes a necessary release. Without it, I would feel trapped within my own emotions.
Interestingly, I observed that I often cry in private settings. Even during the public performance of the musician, the experience felt intimate due to the crowded surroundings. This aligns with Bylsma’s assertion about the situational triggers of crying. Ironically, despite these instances largely occurring in solitude, I frequently cried while witnessing connections between others. Perhaps it stemmed from a sense of exclusion or was a quiet celebration of the myriad lives unfolding around me—a subtle tribute to the beauty of life itself.
The first video, Why Does Everything Make Me Cry?, explores the emotional and psychological aspects of crying, shedding light on why some individuals are more prone to tears than others.
The second video, Why Do We Cry When We're Sad?, delves deeper into the reasons behind tears, discussing both biological and emotional triggers that can lead to crying.