Character is Destiny: 10 Practices to Enhance Your Life
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Chapter 1: The Quest for Improvement
Many of us find ourselves feeling unsatisfied with who we are at present.
We are aware that there is room for growth. We aspire to be better versions of ourselves, not necessarily in terms of job performance, physical appearance, or financial success, but in our character as individuals. We recognize a desire to be kinder, more generous, patient, thoughtful, and reliable. However, how many of us actively pursue this improvement? How often do we prioritize becoming better people?
Marcus Aurelius posed a thought-provoking question to himself: "Am I striving to be a better wrestler but neglecting my duty to be a better citizen, a kinder individual, or a more forgiving person?" He stressed the importance of our primary role — "to be a good person."
When Stoics discussed justice, they were not referring to a legal framework; they were emphasizing the need to strive for personal betterment — to be a better community member, an empathetic friend, and a forgiving individual. This is a significant theme in my upcoming book, Right Thing, Right Now, which delves into this vital Stoic virtue, urging us to commit to being good rather than merely great.
Here are ten habits that can enhance your most critical role — being a better person:
Section 1.1: Embrace Honesty
Start with truthfulness. "Let me be frank with you..." How often have you heard or used this expression? It may seem innocuous, even a method to build trust, but it implies that honesty is not our default state. According to Marcus Aurelius, honesty should stand alone without any prefatory remarks. A truthful person should be as noticeable as a goat in a room — you know they are there. In every situation, big or small, public or private, make it a point to be truthful without being hurtful.
"Speak the truth as you see it," Marcus advised, "but do so with kindness, humility, and without pretense." Your role as a friend, parent, employee, and human being demands this integrity.
Section 1.2: Cultivate Respect
Clementine Churchill once penned a note to her husband, stating, "My Darling Winston, I must admit I've noticed a decline in your kindness." Despite his power, she cautioned that continued disrespect would yield poor outcomes. The way you treat others creates a ripple effect that profoundly influences your life. Kindness and respect draw people in, whereas rudeness and jealousy repel them.
Chapter 2: The Art of Giving
In his writings, Rabbi Harold Kushner shared that before he began a new project, he would make a small charitable donation. This act of generosity set a positive tone for his work. To improve in generosity, we must practice it regularly — not just when convenient or when we feel financially secure.
Generosity can take many forms: your time, energy, encouraging words, patience, and kindness. Seneca reminds us that every encounter is an opportunity for kindness. Are you noticing these chances?
Section 2.1: Seek the Good in Others
During his imprisonment, Gandhi crafted sandals for General Jan Smuts, who had incarcerated him. Gandhi believed there was goodness in Smuts, and this act of kindness eventually inspired Smuts to strive for redemption.
We all possess both light and darkness within us; which part do you encourage?
Section 2.2: Choose Your Guiding Principles
Dov Charney's journey in fashion illustrates the importance of a guiding principle. Initially committed to improving the industry, he later became self-focused. Your values and aspirations will dictate your trajectory in life.
Chapter 3: Upholding Your Values
Your guiding principles will illuminate the moral line you choose to walk. Courage is required to maintain this line, while self-discipline ensures you stay true to it. Justice is about standing firm in your values and making ethical decisions.
Section 3.1: Gain Competence
While good intentions are valuable, they must be paired with competence. Florence Nightingale exemplified this through her dedication to nursing, knowledge, and advocacy.
Positive change necessitates thorough understanding and skill.
Section 3.2: The Power of Love
In the battle against injustice, it's easy to succumb to bitterness. Marcus Aurelius noted, "What doesn't transmit light creates its own darkness." Holding onto love and hope enables us to flourish and connect with others.
Section 3.3: Practice Kindness
Hadrian recognized Antoninus as a worthy mentor by observing his genuine kindness. Small acts of kindness can have profound effects — you never know who might be inspired by your actions.
Finally, strive to leave your surroundings better than you found them. A simple act, like picking up litter or helping a stranger, contributes to a more positive world.
Life is fleeting.
Be good. Do good. Seek good. Stand firm in your values. Be respectful, kind, and competent. Embrace love and strive for connection.
Act on the right principles.
Right now.
If you found this article insightful, you'll likely appreciate my forthcoming book: Right Thing, Right Now, releasing on June 11th. Preordering is the best way to support an author. Visit dailystoic.com/justice for bonuses like signed editions and exclusive content.
Additionally, I'm hosting a launch event in New York City at Barnes & Noble Union Square on June 11th, featuring a live Q&A and book signings. I hope to see you there!