Internal Voices

The workings of the mind are intricate and enigmatic. While we have made significant strides in understanding the brain, much remains to be uncovered.

It is widely recognized that we often engage in internal dialogues. But who are we conversing with? The answer is ourselves!

These inner voices significantly influence our actions and the outcomes we experience in life. Some of these voices can be detrimental, while others can provide support and encouragement.

The key question is, are you aware of these voices? Are you conscious of their presence? If so, how frequently do you identify specific voices?

For simplicity, let’s assume you can recognize these internal dialogues and observe how they correlate with your conscious and subconscious beliefs. These voices can deliver messages that are positive, neutral, or negative. Some may empower you, while others may impose limitations on your potential.

To master these voices, the first step is to acknowledge their existence. Failing to do so may leave you unaware and completely influenced by them. These internal dialogues manifest in our thoughts and behaviors, often representing different aspects of ourselves. Henceforth, consider “voices” and “parts” as interchangeable terms.

For instance, I can easily differentiate between various inner voices that represent different roles I embody: as a father, husband, brother, son, friend, businessman, leader, coach, mentor, or elder. Depending on the situation, one or more of these voices may guide my thoughts and actions, shaping what I choose to express, both internally and externally. Each plays a role in defining my self-perception.

In business contexts, for example, my “executive voice” may take charge, steering my thoughts, words, and actions, influencing those around me. Conversely, I sometimes encounter negative voices that challenge my confidence with thoughts like, “What gives you the right?” or “How do you think you can achieve that?” I refer to this inner critic as my “critical voice.” It frequently warns me, “Don’t embarrass yourself!”

Ultimately, each inner voice can be seen as a facet of ourselves that either supports our growth or works against us.

For instance, my inner critic is a part of me that has somehow become adversarial. Understanding the reasons behind this can be enlightening. Similarly, my voice of confidence is another aspect of myself that deserves exploration for personal development.

Positive Beliefs

I also nurture a variety of positive voices within me, striving to integrate them more fully into my identity. After experiencing a heart attack a few years ago, I developed a routine of running, often affirming to myself, “This is beneficial for me.” I continue this practice during my long walks. In the past, while participating in events like MS 150-mile bike rides, marathons, and triathlons, I cultivated a voice that proclaimed, “I can achieve this,” which helped me finish each race while aiming to improve my performance.

Even today, prior to speaking to an audience, I reassure myself with, “You’re going to excel.” Of course, preparation plays a crucial role, so I make an effort to master my material. I welcome this inner “voice of confidence.”

This confidence did not emerge overnight; it was cultivated over time. In my earlier years, the thought of addressing a group would make me so anxious that my knees would tremble. Thankfully, I usually had a lectern for support!

I vividly recall those moments. The dominant thought was one of sheer fear—the fear of failure and embarrassment. It was a daunting prospect, as public speaking often felt like a nightmare!

Eventually, through practice and a shift in perspective, that critical, fearful voice diminished, allowing me to build confidence that profoundly impacted my life. Although the negative voices may linger, I now perceive them differently, recognizing them for what they are—echoes of my younger self attempting, albeit immaturely, to protect me by instilling doubt and self-limiting beliefs.

I acknowledge these negative voices and reclaim control from them, enabling my more mature, positive voices to uplift and empower me. I can now identify them by name and even express gratitude for their misguided attempts at protection. Their hold over me has significantly lessened.

Create Real Change in Your Life

You can transform your life by nurturing empowering beliefs and the associated inner voices. Empowering beliefs stem from confidence, while limiting beliefs are often rooted in doubt. When confidence wanes, fear can take over. Research in neuroscience and psychology demonstrates that fear narrows our focus and severely restricts our ability to reason.

So, how can you foster empowering beliefs while diminishing those that hold you back? Begin by recognizing the various voices, naming them, and realizing they do not dictate your reality. Take charge, express gratitude for their attempts to safeguard you, and move forward.

As you learn to identify the internal voices that hinder you, you can also recognize the inner voices that support you. This awareness empowers you to replace the weaker, negative voices with stronger, positive ones. This work is yours alone to undertake.

Consider the exercise at the end of this article to discover your empowering voices while also noting any negative ones that surface. Common examples of negative inner voices might include the “critical voice” or simply the “negative voice.”

Uncovering Your Voices

Before diving into the exercise, let's explore some potential names for the positive voices we can cultivate. This list is not exhaustive, but it serves as a starting point for your exercise. Positive internal voices can include:

• Intelligent voice
• Decisive voice
• Capable voice
• Confident voice
• Distinguished voice
• Productive voice
• Punctual voice
• Father voice
• Mother voice
• Daughter voice
• Son voice
• Optimistic voice
• Manager voice
• Leader voice
• Executive voice
• Self-affirming voice
• Wealthy voice
• Cultured voice
• Can-do voice
• Anything is possible voice

Feel free to add any other terms or phrases that resonate with you. As you name the voices during the exercise, take note of any disempowering voices or beliefs that arise, and document them separately.

Exercise

Engage deeply with this exercise. Take your time and avoid rushing through it.

Using the following list, identify as many positive affirmations you've received throughout your life as you can remember. Write them down or consider journaling about them. As much as possible, assign a name to each affirmation that reflects the inner voice it evokes.

What positive things have the following individuals said about you?

• Grandparents
• Parents
• Siblings
• Other family members
• Fellow Students
• Spouse
• Children
• Colleagues
• Leaders
• Teachers
• Coaches
• Mentors
• Friends
• Acquaintances
• Other individuals

After completing this list, you can take three actions:

1. Embrace all the positive things others have said about you, allowing them to uplift and motivate you.
2. Examine the list of empowering voices alongside any negative voices you’ve identified. Look for patterns or common themes.
3. Select at least one negative voice and begin replacing it with one or more of your positive, empowering voices and beliefs.

Final Thoughts

To enhance the value of this exercise, consider collaborating with someone you trust. They may provide valuable insights as you compile your lists, and they can engage in this exercise for their own growth as well!

If this concept of internal voices is new to you, it can be a captivating area of exploration. A quick internet search will yield a wealth of information on the topic.

Now, go forth, build on your strengths, and seize the day!