How young is too young to take a child's declaration of being non-binary or trans seriously?

In May 2022, Jeff Younger faced defeat in a Texas House GOP race, despite running a campaign rife with transphobia directed at his own daughter.

According to reports by the Texas Tribune:

> [Luna’s father] initiated a social media movement to “save” his child from the perceived dangers of transitioning. For a child like Luna, this merely involved social changes such as wearing her hair long, selecting her outfits, and using a feminine name and pronouns.

The campaign perpetuated misconceptions, implying that [Luna’s mother] intended to “chemically castrate” their child—a frightening misrepresentation of hormone therapies that would typically be years away, per standard medical practices.

Court transcripts indicated that [Luna’s mother] only intended to take Luna to a specialized clinic for transgender youth in Dallas. There, they would consider a plan for potentially starting reversible puberty blockers in the coming years, should Luna's gender dysphoria continue.

Unfortunately, Luna’s father’s rhetoric is sadly typical within GOP circles.

The Grand Old Playlist

You may have heard the common refrain: “Think of the children!”

Another favorite: “We need more data before making decisions.”

When discussing trans rights, conservatives seem to recycle familiar arguments. The latest plea for basic human decency is simply: believe trans kids as we do cisgender kids.

Another popular notion is that “Children are too young to determine their gender.”

To illustrate, let’s tarnish your fond memories of AC Slater (Mario Lopez) from Saved By The Bell with his misguided assertions:

> “I’m not one to dictate how others should raise their kids,” he remarked while hosting Extra. “But honestly, if a 3-year-old expresses that they feel like a boy or girl, I think it’s dangerous to make that determination as a parent.”

Perhaps his intentions are good—especially given that the reboot of Saved By The Bell featured a transgender teenager as a lead character.

Yes, indeed!

Saved by the (Transgender) Bell

The show intentionally chose not to highlight that Lexi, the main character, is trans. The producers, including Mario Lopez, aimed to tell a story that focused on a trans teenager without centering it around transition trauma.

Okay, Mario. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. However, by echoing the same concerns voiced by numerous bigots, you overlook that the very parents you reference may have already dictated their child's identity at birth.

Why would you cling to your child’s assigned sex at birth rather than listening to their evolving identity?

It Gets Worse

Now, here’s the more challenging question that often sends conservatives into a tizzy.

Ask conservative parents if they’re willing to acknowledge they misidentified their child’s gender.

Even non-binary parents can mislabel their children’s gender, and it happens more often than one might think. Children of all kinds may come to realize that the gender assigned to them doesn’t align with their true selves as they grow.

Before you feel guilty, research indicates this isn’t a terminal error—provided parents take the right steps to affirm their child’s genuine gender identity.

Some aspects are indeed within a parent's control, while others are not.

How Much Control Does Any Parent Have Over Their Child’s Gender?

Here’s another old adage from my upbringing in Mississippi: if your child is queer, it’s always the mother’s fault.

I wish it were just my own father who believed that, but a 2019 study examined the struggles faced by ten mothers brought to trial for affirming their transgender and gender-nonconforming children.

The findings were heartbreaking: “In each case, the father blamed the affirming mother for ‘causing’ the child to be trans, and courts ruled in favor of the father in four of those instances.”

Despite these rulings and their harrowing consequences, research highlights the severe repercussions of parents making the very judgment that Mario Lopez warned against.

Yes, AC Slater, choosing your child’s gender isn’t just misguided—it’s perilous.

Wren Sanders (she/they), an award-winning journalist and editor at Them, stated: “The real danger lies in rejecting or undermining a child’s understanding of their gender identity. Families that dismiss their trans children’s identities significantly increase their risk of contemplating, planning, and attempting suicide. In contrast, acceptance and support from family have been shown to dramatically reduce the likelihood of various psychological issues, including suicidal thoughts.”

The Consequences of Denying Your Child a Chance to Exist

Jeff Younger’s transphobic campaign and refusal to show compassion towards his own daughter resulted in two significant losses: his bid for the GOP House seat and custody of Luna.

Court records revealed that despite Younger’s claims of protecting his daughter, he failed to meet basic child support obligations. The memorandum states: “Mr. Younger did not promptly make the required child and medical support payments and only fulfilled his past dues after enforcement actions were initiated.”

Not everyone, however, seeks political office merely to restrict their child’s existence. Some parents genuinely worry about how best to support their children.

These parents are justified in asserting that many things only become clear with maturity. Luna realized she was trans at age 5.

What if we inquire about even younger children?

How Young is Too Young to Believe a Kid When They Claim to Be Non-Binary or Trans?

This is where groundbreaking research on transgender children aged 3–12 provides enlightening insights.

Researchers followed 822 children (aged 3–12) from the U.S. and Canada: 317 identified as trans, 189 were their cisgender siblings, and 316 were other cisgender children serving as a control group. The results lead to a straightforward but vital conclusion:

> Believe trans kids.

— Study Says Trans and Cisgender Children Have Equally Strong Gender Identities (Them Magazine)

Why Is It Crucial to Ask Trans Kids About Their Gender?

It is essential to focus on researching trans and other gender non-conforming youth because their unique experiences allow us to untangle the factors that influence gender development.

Trans children aged 3–12 differ from their cisgender counterparts in that they are initially assigned one gender but can later transition to their true gender identity for the rest of their lives.

Well, as much as anyone can pursue gender-affirming care.

What if Your Kid Doesn’t Identify with Any Gender?

At least not in the traditional sense.

Even children who see themselves as belonging to a binary gender often experience gender fluidity. The researchers noted, “While girls in all groups generally displayed feminine tendencies, there were girls in every group who exhibited particularly feminine or masculine traits.”

Let’s say it together: tomboys are amazing.

And now this: butch is incredible!

Recent studies suggest that binary gender labels may be increasingly arbitrary and perplexing when applied to experimenter-created groups.

However, researchers didn’t grasp this until they posed a surprising follow-up question.

How Do You Identify?

> [W]hen we asked children how they identify, some transgender and cisgender children described themselves using terms not aligning with their current pronouns.

Had we categorized children based on their self-identification—into boys, girls, and those preferring different labels—our groups may have crossed the boundaries of cisgender and transgender. The implications of this approach for ongoing discussions about gender identity assessment in research remain uncertain.

In Conclusion

That leads us to one final question.

If being raised by conservatives can’t ensure a child is cisgender...

Can having a trans parent influence a child to become trans?

No, it cannot.

Research indicates that:

• There likely isn’t a distinctive gender socialization experience in homes with transgender children that alters gender development.
• Children often develop a sense of identity early on that isn’t solely dictated by their sex assigned at birth.
• They may maintain this identity even when it contradicts societal expectations.

Despite the GOP’s attempts to control what they never had the power to dictate, the most significant factor determining a person’s gender is their internal sense of self. Whether supported by a loving parent or struggling through neglect from another, children learn to express and realize their identities.

This signifies that, for the first time in Western societies, we are witnessing a genuine diversity of gender expressions beyond mere biological classifications.

If that message isn’t clear enough, allow me to present my own Greatest Hits compilation.

Like every Nickelback album, it features one track repeated nine times:

1. Believe Trans Kids
2. Believe Trans Kids
3. Believe Trans Kids
4. …

The End (of the Article)

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