Experiences with Professors: The Power of Presence

Anyone who has attended college knows that a professor's demeanor can greatly influence the learning experience. I've encountered professors who brought energy and character to the classroom, as well as those who simply read from their notes without engaging with students. It’s clear which experience was more enjoyable.

For instance, I once arrived late to a final exam, panicking as I entered with less than an hour remaining. Fortunately, my professor allowed me to complete it in her office after the official time had passed. Why? Because I had consistently shown up to class and participated actively. My positive demeanor ultimately saved me that day.

Mindfulness in Interactions

Gracian’s quote resonates with the modern practice of mindfulness—being present in the moment, especially when interacting with others. This realization has transformed my approach to social situations. As an only child, I was naturally shy and uncomfortable around others, often avoiding social gatherings. However, my experience as a practicing attorney forced me to adapt, and I found comfort by focusing on being present in conversations.

To truly engage, I learned to ask questions and strive to leave a positive impression. Techniques like using someone's name, making eye contact, and showing genuine interest can illuminate conversations. Even simple gestures like smiling and mirroring body language can significantly enhance interactions.

Cultivating a Positive Presence

Additionally, the quote hints at the necessity of being less self-centered. Often, shyness stems from an excessive preoccupation with one's self-image rather than focusing on uplifting others. A friendly demeanor can yield substantial benefits, particularly in professional settings. Many individuals secure jobs not solely due to qualifications but because of the rapport they establish with hiring managers.

One of my favorite books, "No Stopping You!: How to Win the Game of Life" by Roger Flax, underscores this principle. Flax, who founded a corporate leadership consultancy, emphasizes that success often hinges on interpersonal relationships. "Winning in life is winning with people," he states.

Embracing Engaging Interactions

To cultivate meaningful interactions, approach each encounter with a mindset of pleasantness and undivided attention. Listen actively and take a genuine interest in what others are saying, even if their topics seem mundane at first. Over time, you'll find that showing interest can spark your own engagement.

While it's unrealistic to expect instant connections with everyone, many conversations can be improved with a little kindness and curiosity. I’m not advocating for a forced, overly nice persona; rather, adopt this approach as your default in new and work-related encounters. With closer acquaintances, you can afford to relax more.

Try this strategy for a month, and you may find it becomes a lasting habit as you notice the positive effects on both yourself and those around you.

Politeness, as Schopenhauer remarked, is to human nature what warmth is to wax.