A Challenging Return to Routine

Returning to Paris after a three-month stay in New York left me feeling conflicted. My summer was both tumultuous and fulfilling, marked by grief over my ex-husband's passing and concerns about my son's eyesight, yet also brightened by warm sunshine, the sea, and cherished moments with loved ones.

Writing has always been my refuge, but since early June, I've been unable to pen a single word. This marks the longest stretch without writing since I joined my condo board in 2016, leaving me feeling trapped in a creative block.

Before you judge my situation as mere procrastination in a beautiful city, understand that writing is essential for my well-being, and not engaging in it causes me distress.

Time is fleeting, and as I age, I feel an urgency to maximize my health and time. Witnessing peers pass away—especially those only slightly older—heightens my awareness of the need to live purposefully.

In this discomfort, I turn to my inner wisdom, which reminds me:

"Enough complaining. You have insights and methods that work for others. Pretend you’re advising them. Break free from your inertia by applying your own guidance."

This is not just whimsical advice; I've internalized this message before.

We all possess inner wisdom; we just need to pause long enough to heed it. I am grateful mine urged me to write this. I hope to continue heeding her counsel, and if I falter, I’ll remind myself to seek her guidance once more.

I’m not alone in feeling stuck. Many of us deviate from what is beneficial or significant to us. We experience setbacks, challenges, and moments that necessitate a fresh start. Your journey down a rabbit hole may differ from mine, but when you find yourself at a low point, it’s crucial to devise a way to rise again!

1. Identify the Challenge

For me, the goal is to return to work and achieve a balanced daily routine. I desire to engage my body as much as my mind, especially as I approach 79, hoping to remain active and involved like my elderly friends in their 90s and 100s.

I must combat my inner voice that says, "You've paid your dues. Take it easy." That voice does not prioritize my best interests! Engagement, work, and purpose are vital ingredients for a fulfilling life.

2. Seek the Truth

If you’re uncertain about your feelings, you might be overwhelmed by emotions and overly focused on the uncontrollable future. Instead, take a moment to assess your present situation. Your inner wisdom can guide you.

Consider this straightforward three-step method by self-empowerment expert Robert Fritz, who draws from various spiritual and leadership principles. I refer to it as the Tell Yourself the Truth (TYTT) approach.

A. Observe Your Surroundings Find a quiet space, breathe, and visualize yourself as a neutral observer. What details can you gather about your current circumstances? Consider any new factors or transitions that may have contributed to your present state.

B. Acknowledge Your Reality Does this moment feel familiar? Could you have anticipated it or planned more effectively? Determine if you have any control over the situation or if acceptance is your best option. If a significant decision is weighing on you, assess its true gravity. Avoid self-blame; simply recognize and accept what is happening.

C. Take Action Consult your inner wisdom for guidance on the next steps. Make a conscious choice, even if it feels daunting. For me, that action was committing to finish this article. Your next move might involve starting, stopping, or altering your approach. It doesn’t have to be monumental; even a small step can initiate change.

Remember, if you make an error or face a setback, you can always choose a different path. Taking any action helps you escape the isolating "stuck" feeling.

3. Allow Time for Reflection

Once you understand your circumstances, observe how your day unfolds. List your routine activities—eating, working, socializing, caring for pets or children—and identify when you feel your best or most drained. Do you lose enthusiasm midway through tasks? Are there specific people or environments that uplift or diminish your spirits?

Examine the time you allocate to each activity. If you notice you spend four hours writing but only twenty minutes exercising, it’s clear your body needs more attention!

After reflection, envision how you would change your day if you could wave a magic wand. Which activities would remain the same, and which would you adjust or eliminate? Who could assist you in these changes?

Maintain honesty with yourself. Acknowledging that I spend excessive time on distractions like games and mindless browsing helps me recognize the need for change.

4. Pose Difficult Questions

• What is essential for your well-being? For me, it involves dog walks, writing, socializing (both in person and digitally), and—reluctantly—exercise. These are the activities I must prioritize.
• What can be minimized or eliminated? While I enjoy cooking, daily preparation is not necessary. I still need to allocate time for grocery shopping and social outings.
• What part of the day feels optimal for you? Some tasks align better when done consecutively. For example, after walking my dog, I aim to stretch and strength train while I’m already warmed up. If I don’t, I’ll likely procrastinate.
• How can you combine activities for enjoyment without sacrificing quality? I enjoy cooking while chatting on the phone. While multitasking can be counterproductive, I find less guilt in playing games while watching TV.
• Can you introduce something new to your routine? Structure is comforting, but flexibility and risk are also essential. Tomorrow, I’m trying a fitness class with strangers, embracing the discomfort of being a beginner again. While predictability offers comfort, new experiences can foster growth and connection.

5. Document Your Goals

Having ideas in your mind isn’t sufficient. Write down your objectives. Begin with a weekly plan, then extend to monthly goals. Whether you use a calendar, a daily to-do list, or a productivity app, choose what feels right for you. Personally, I prefer to avoid apps due to tech learning curves and excessive screen time.

I admit that writing down my goals is a challenge. In the past, I managed numerous projects effectively, but now my thoughts and tasks are scattered.

I share this hesitantly because accountability is crucial. Studies indicate that public acknowledgment increases the likelihood of follow-through.

Accountability isn’t just about admitting failure; it’s about committing to outcomes, not just tasks, and taking initiative with thoughtful follow-through.

6. Keep Your Focus on the Goal

My Aunt Ruth often remarked that I chose "the toughest profession." However, challenges can lead to growth. Engaging deeply in tasks, taking risks, and facing difficulties can bolster confidence and lead to significant rewards.

The exhilarating feeling I experience when I finalize a piece of writing and share it with the world is unmatched.

Despite my reluctance to exercise, I feel better when I incorporate it into my routine.

Ultimately, I want to "keep myself nice," a principle for longevity highlighted by Mel Brooks. To maintain good health and resilience in facing life's challenges, I must take action that benefits me rather than merely discussing or writing about it.

7. Trust Yourself

One of the advantages of adulthood is the accumulation of evidence showcasing your capabilities. You’ve navigated numerous surprises, setbacks, and crises, demonstrating resilience through difficult times.

You’ve overcome challenges before, and you can do it again. Trust in your abilities, and when doubts arise, turn to your inner wisdom, which holds all the answers—even those you may not want to accept!

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