"Everybody look at you strange say you changed, like you worked that hard to stay the same” — Jay-Z, “Most Kingz”

Welcome back to my Medium column, “What Would Hov Do?” Here, I tackle your pressing life questions using insights from Jay-Z's lyrics. It’s been a while, but let’s dive into a common dilemma.

This week, I want to address the question: “How can I part ways with friends who no longer resonate with my vibe?”

When we consciously reflect on our relationships, it becomes clear that some connections which once flourished are now shifting. This doesn't imply a failure on either side. Personally, my priorities evolved significantly once I turned 30, and they shifted even more with the arrival of my child.

Numerous factors influence our perspectives. Friends, family, and partners may not always align with our values or desires. We have the right to evaluate whether a previously cherished relationship still serves its intended purpose.

Often, we perceive the duration of a relationship as a measure of its value. At times, we cling to these connections, even to our own detriment, simply to maintain the familiar. The uncertainty of change can be daunting.

Now, let’s take a moment for some Jay-Z trivia: The quote I shared earlier is a personal favorite, first heard during a freestyle on Hot 97 during Funk Flex's show, and the complete track is part of a DJ Green Lantern mixtape.

Jay-Z reminds us that embracing change can be beneficial, even if it leads to farewells.

> Letting go of friends and loved ones doesn’t mean we don’t love them anymore; it means we love ourselves enough to know that it may be time to move on in separate directions. It’s better than forcing energy that is no longer there.

While such transitions may not always be smooth, they necessitate self-trust and the acknowledgment that what’s best for us may not match someone else's narrative. Ending relationships doesn’t diminish the value of those we care about; it signifies mutual growth apart. Not everyone is meant to move in the same direction. When paths diverge, we honor the time spent together while embracing new journeys with those who align with our current selves.

You are not obligated to remain in spaces where you feel unfulfilled or unseen. Sometimes, this separation occurs naturally, with fewer messages and interactions. Other times, it may involve a more deliberate approach, such as a heartfelt letter or call.

Regardless of how it unfolds, remember that change is a natural part of life. If you have doubts, just ask Hov.

For those new to this column, feel free to explore my earlier pieces here, and here, and here as well.