Thought 1 — That kid next door is so bothersome.

Come on! He's just a spirited child. Accidentally tossing a ball into your yard is hardly an issue. Besides, it didn't even hit you. You ought to feel thankful.

Remember, you were a child once too. Did you never annoy your parents, relatives, or neighbors? Did you enjoy it when an adult scolded you for accidentally tossing your ball into their garden?

Consider Mr. Brown, who once requested you turn down the loud music during a raucous party in your backyard. You took offense and told him to mind his own business, even when you were 26.

This child is living his prime years, learning through play. He hasn't wronged you; in fact, he politely asked if you could throw the ball back over the fence, addressing you as "sir." Yet, you felt disturbed as the ball disrupted your peace in the garden.

Thought 2 — My boss is constantly annoying me.

Why not view the situation from her perspective?

She has a superior like you and is accountable for your performance. She's under pressure and managing numerous employees, so she has every right to inquire about your progress. Furthermore, she trusts you enough to allow you to work from home.

How would you behave if you were responsible for 60 employees and clients were inquiring about their progress? Wouldn't you reach out to each team member to stay informed?

Thought 3 — My son is being demanding.

I don't interpret his request as a demand. While you may be busy, he is striving toward his aspirations. He is still quite young and ambitious, and he may not fully grasp your workload since you haven't communicated it clearly.

You can't assume he knows what you’re thinking. He is growing quickly and needs your support during these formative times. He will never be a child again—do you miss those early years?

You’re proud of him and encourage him to pursue his dreams. All he's doing is asking for assistance with his project. Are you aware of what he is experiencing in his life right now?

You were a teenager once too, and it wasn't an easy phase, was it? He is a responsible youth. At his age, you were likely demanding things from your parents as well.

Thought 4 — My partner seems indifferent.

She requested you to take out the trash while you were busy, but she was occupied too. Her tasks are just as important as yours. Instead of interrupting you, she simply sent a WhatsApp reminder, yet you felt irritated by the message. She didn't demand immediate action; she just asked for your assistance because she was engaged in her own work.

Moreover, she might not know about your stress and tight schedule. Did you communicate your situation to her? You assumed she would intuitively understand. No one can read minds, including your partner.

If I were in your shoes, I would apologize for the delay in taking out the trash and clearly explain my situation without becoming defensive or judgmental. It's important to take responsibility and manage the task since the council truck won't arrive for another week.

She has supported you tirelessly over the years. Considering her as uncaring is unjust. While I understand your frustration, labeling her that way is inconsiderate.

Thought 5 — These websites and platforms frustrate me.

I understand your frustration with the recent technical issues affecting your work and prompting complaints from customers. However, glitches are a common occurrence on all platforms. Being upset won’t resolve anything—cheer up!

Remember, you were once a software engineer. Reflect on the challenges you faced back then. Every piece of software you created had bugs. This platform gives voice to countless bloggers and serves millions of readers.

Given the scale of such a platform, it’s expected to encounter issues from time to time. You can't demand perfection from others when you yourself are not perfect. I know you strive to meet your stakeholders' needs, and so do others. A little empathy for any web service can ease your frustration.

Thought 6 — My computer and the Internet are so sluggish.

Really? You chose this iMac because you were dissatisfied with your previous Windows 10 PC, which frustrated you endlessly. Look at how many tabs you have open right now. This isn't a supercomputer; it has limitations on memory and processing power.

You've got five browsers open, each with 30 tabs. Plus, all your documents are synced to virtual storage for backup. Why have you left all those PDF files open for days? You seem to have forgotten about them in the background. Just close those unused documents and images you've downloaded.

Do you remember when you had only 5 KB of memory in your XT machine? You were much happier with your PC's performance back then. How quickly you forget!

Recall your first modem, which allowed access to bulletin boards and brought you such joy? Now you have fast broadband. You can easily upload and download files.

Your iMac is vastly more powerful than your old machine, yet you call it slow. That doesn't seem logical. You should close some unused windows. This is a capable machine that never crashes like your old Windows PC. Appreciate this fantastic device; it meets your needs admirably. Give thanks to Steve Jobs for it!

Conclusions

After these self-dialogues, I felt a sense of relief by acknowledging and kindly challenging each thought. My perspective shifted positively.

I also recognized how fortunate I am and resolved not to take my blessings for granted. Negative thoughts are a natural occurrence, stemming from our primitive instincts geared toward survival.

However, by observing, recognizing, and responding to negative thoughts in a timely manner using our cognitive abilities, we can empower ourselves to lead fulfilling and healthy lives.

I encourage you to become your own therapist.