Chapter 1: The Burden of Appearances

A girl dressed in a white coat finds herself on a bus, gazing wistfully at the empty seats. Her weary legs, encased in high-heeled boots, threaten to give way at any moment. Sitting down isn’t an option; she fears her coat might pick up dirt, and the seats leave much to be desired. The thought of stepping off the bus with stains visible for all to see fills her with dread.

Bound by the constraints of her white coat, she feels she cannot prioritize her comfort, self-care, or well-being over how others perceive her. This pressure is particularly intense in relation to men—her appearance, including her coat, heels, and makeup, seems crucial to her worth.

Although men enter her life, they tend to exit just as quickly, especially when intimacy calls for her to shed her protective layers. The stains that mar her existences are not merely physical; they represent deeper issues that are hard to hide. Yet, she remains oblivious, often fleeing relationships at the first sign of tension.

Echoes of her mother’s words ring in her mind, emphasizing the importance of marriage and children to avoid being deemed inadequate. The stigma surrounding solitude has become a source of shame, leading her to seek companionship, no matter the quality.

Her father’s criticism still lingers: the notion that she must always strive to be better to keep a man’s interest. Years later, she still feels unworthy due to these “stains,” which compel her to preemptively end relationships before being abandoned.

This internal struggle has persisted for far too long. A friend suggested therapy to address her self-esteem issues and the impact of parental expectations. However, financial constraints prevent her from pursuing this help, as her earnings are funneled into maintaining her appearance—nails, eyelashes, heels, dry cleaning, and countless other beauty essentials. The thought of visiting a psychologist terrifies her; she fears they would see her imperfections and mock her.

In a sudden jolt, the bus comes to a halt, causing her to stumble into the aisle and twist her ankle painfully. As she stands there, self-pity washing over her, the urge to cry rises, but she suppresses it—crying would ruin her mascara, and that simply wouldn’t be acceptable.

Section 1.1: The Impact of Societal Standards

The relentless pressure to conform to societal standards can be crippling. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that adversely affects relationships.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Cost of Beauty

Chapter 2: Seeking Help and Finding Self-Acceptance

Through understanding and support, one can begin to unravel the complex threads of self-worth and societal expectation.