# Embracing Imperfection: Accepting Life's Ups and Downs
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Chapter 1: The Myth of Control
During my early twenties, I held onto the belief that one day I would have everything figured out. I envisioned a life where I could effortlessly manage my emotions and gracefully navigate whatever challenges came my way.
Reflecting on that time, I recognize now that my expectations were unrealistic—perhaps fueled by wishful thinking or a naive perspective. It was evident then, as it is now, that the adults around me were not exactly exemplifying the mastery over life that I aspired to achieve.
Fast forward to my mid-thirties, and I’m learning to accept that I’m no longer that girl and that achieving the tranquility and self-control I once yearned for is still a work in progress.
Sometimes, it feels overwhelming.
I had a session with my therapist recently. Although my formal therapy for mild depression wrapped up last year, I still reach out during crises, and it always provides comfort.
During our discussion, I expressed my frustrations: dealing with a challenging new colleague, managing a household infected with COVID, and the unsettling reality of the ongoing war in Ukraine. I also shared my struggles with my children—one who keeps me up at night and another whose demands often exceed my capacity. I described feeling numb, consumed by guilt, aimlessly wandering my home, crying without knowing why, and calling in sick to work, all while parenting on autopilot, engulfed in despair.
She paused, looked me in the eye, and said, “This sounds a lot like burnout.”
Her words resonated deeply within me. The acknowledgment that my struggles were understandable felt like a revelation. I realized that I had been expecting myself to be superhuman, capable of handling every challenge effortlessly.
But I’m just human, and sometimes life can become too much to bear.
The video titled "It's ok that you're not ok. You're not meant to be ok right now." discusses the importance of accepting our feelings and the idea that it's normal to struggle.
Letting Go of Perfectionism
I must admit, I am driven by achievement. Despite my desire for a more relaxed lifestyle, I often find myself constantly planning or working on projects. Relaxation rarely brings me joy; instead, it leaves me with a nagging feeling of wasted time.
While I wouldn’t judge others for feeling this way, I am often my harshest critic. Rational thought has its limits, and my emotions frequently overpower my logic.
Meditation has been a helpful tool for me. Although my practice is inconsistent, I’ve noticed that since I stopped pressuring myself to maintain a rigid routine, I’ve become more engaged with it.
Sometimes, it’s essential to release the need for perfection in order to achieve more.
Putting Things in Perspective
In the midst of a crisis, I often experience tunnel vision. Much like a horse with blinders, I can focus solely on the immediate issue, disregarding everything else around me.
Even though I know logically that not everything is bleak, my emotions often resist rationality. As I learned while raising my sons, reasoning with someone in emotional turmoil is usually futile.
Instead, I’ve found that physical activity helps in these moments. Whether it’s a comforting hug, a massage, or an invigorating workout, moving my body helps to calm my racing mind. Nature also provides solace—just being near a river or surrounded by trees can have a restorative effect.
Though it’s incredibly challenging, I remind myself of past experiences where this approach helped me regain perspective, even when I struggle to believe it in the moment.
Conclusions: Finding Beauty in the Struggle
Life is undeniably challenging, yet it possesses an extraordinary beauty. Its unpredictability brings both pain and joy.
While we may aspire to navigate difficulties with the grace of a film hero, the reality is that most of the time, we’re simply trying to survive—and that’s perfectly okay.
We endure struggles, experience pain, make mistakes, and misjudge countless situations. And that’s perfectly okay.
We cherish our experiences and strive to uplift ourselves, but there are moments when we simply feel exhausted and not okay at all.
And that’s perfectly okay.
The second video titled "Grief: It's ok that you're not ok | Megan Devine" explores the complexities of grief and the acceptance of our emotional struggles.