Embracing Change: 14 Insights from My 28-Year Journey
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The most impactful birthday message I've ever received came from my father in 2017:
“Remain true to yourself while evolving daily.”
This advice has resonated with me ever since, but it feels particularly significant at this moment. Turning 28 feels distinct. At 27, I still considered myself “a kid in his 20s” rather than “an almost-30-year-old.” However, it’s not merely about the age. Numbers have never held much importance for me; it’s the experiences that matter.
In the last year, I’ve experienced significant growth—personally, professionally, and financially. I no longer feel like a novice struggling to establish a foundation; instead, I feel like a survivor standing on a solid base. Though I've faced challenges, I'm here to stay and make a meaningful impact.
While I still have my share of naiveté, it's noticeably less than before. As Oscar Wilde aptly put it, I’m “not young enough to know everything.” What I do recognize is my limited knowledge, and that’s perfectly fine. As I navigate through unknown territories, I question which areas require my attention and if I really need to fill every gap.
The following insights are the culmination of my 28 years, serving as reminders about which gaps to address and which to leave untouched. Hang in there, young one. Stay resilient. Keep pushing forward. Here’s to turning 28!
If starting feels difficult, finishing will be even harder.
I believe in hard work, but I don't support struggling for the sake of it. The most rewarding aspects of my life—work, hobbies, relationships—began easily, without friction. That initial ease made them worth expanding upon, allowing me to push through the tougher times.
Whether it’s writing, video editing, friendships, or romance, enjoyment drew me in, while determination helped me persevere. If the initial joy is absent, that moment of grit may never arrive; it might just be a constant struggle.
Less creates space for what's yet to come.
At 27, I thought I needed 27 life lessons. Now at 28, I’m questioning if even 14 is excessive. My initial exploration into minimalism revealed the joy in simplicity and the freedom that comes with it.
However, I soon realized that it's not merely about subtraction; it's about making room for new experiences. Creating space to think and to tackle life’s significant challenges one at a time leads to true peace of mind. Even in times of calm, it’s comforting to know this space exists.
As you age, take your time in making decisions.
At 28, this year represents only 3.6% of my entire life. As each year becomes a smaller portion of our existence, we tend to worry less about committing to long-term endeavors. This is positive, provided we thoughtfully select our commitments. Unfortunately, many don’t.
They often rush into significant obligations, spurred by arbitrary milestones like 30, 40, or 50, only to later question their choices.
If you’re 28 and haven’t found the right partner, be patient. If the right job eludes you, explore more options. And if you’re dissatisfied with your living situation, consider relocating. Don’t settle yet. Take a step back. Reflect. Then make your decision.
Happiness is primarily about avoiding misery.
After being ill for extended periods, I could pinpoint the stressors that contributed to my ailments. If you enjoy your work, manage your finances well, and keep your emotions in check, few things can derail you.
I once believed I needed to achieve monumental goals to be happy, but now I find contentment in simply avoiding the activities I dislike. With roughly 30,000 days in a lifetime, 27,000 will likely be mundane. Learning to appreciate those days is what life is all about.
Earn what you desire and appreciate what you possess.
We often overvalue the importance of achieving our goals while simultaneously sabotaging our efforts. Instead of contrasting our current selves with who we think we should be to deserve what we want, we pretend to embody that ideal and wait for it to manifest.
In the balance between being and having, we frequently focus on the wrong aspects. Shift your perspective to what you have now and the potential of who you could become, and you’ll reduce disappointment and impatience, possibly even eliminating the desire for certain goals altogether.
The "next big thing" is still the internet.
Intense dreaming about the future can blind us to the opportunities available in the present. The internet has been around since 1990. If you were born within a 40-year span around that time, this is your moment. The web is now 30 years old, and new technologies take years to become globally accessible.
Yet, many focus on emerging trends like VR, AR, AI, and blockchain instead of leveraging the most reliable tool—the internet. Don’t wait for the next big innovation; it’s already here, and the time to act is now.
Transform your industry by first transforming yourself.
Everyone aspires to be a trailblazer, yet few are willing to abandon what’s already working. Historically successful companies have disrupted and reinvented themselves; Apple evolved from computers to music to smartphones, while Netflix transitioned from DVDs to streaming and original content.
Reinventing yourself proactively is challenging, as it requires dismantling your current structure. The positive outcome is a cycle of humility that reinforces growth. The more accomplishments you achieve, the more essential this process becomes.
Money is a habit, much like health, love, and happiness.
It may take earning a substantial amount of money quickly to understand this, but a hefty bank balance is akin to a fit physique or a healthy relationship: it can be easily lost without proper care but can always be regained through the right habits.
I can’t precisely articulate this, but it fosters a sense of confidence. It serves as a safety net against our ingrained scarcity mindset regarding finances.
Forget about completion; focus on progress amid chaos.
I often reach long-term goals only when I set them and then completely forget about them. The more I fixate on specific outcomes, the less likely I am to achieve them. It’s simply human nature; we often miscalculate time.
Therefore, prioritize minimizing stress over maximizing output. Manage your expectations, not your schedule. Celebrate good-enough days rather than just complete successes. Embrace progress in the midst of life’s chaos, and you’ll eventually reach your destination.
Low standards today can outperform high standards tomorrow.
Recognizing chaos means allowing room for failure. A modest, yet meaningful, achievable standard for today can be far more effective than lofty, daunting goals for the future.
Keep doing. Keep moving forward. Eventually, you’ll appreciate the progress you’ve made. Fixating on the summit only adds pressure.
- If it’s beyond your control, it’s up to you to adapt.
Since we have little control over external circumstances, our work should primarily focus inward. Sometimes, it’s our mindset that requires adjustment; at other times, it’s our actions. But when outside factors resist change, we must always reassess our perceptions.
Did you handle everything correctly? Is this a struggle to endure? Or is your approach failing? What obvious detail did you overlook? Asking yourself, “What can I change about myself here?” is often a valuable exercise.
- Avoid harboring hate; simply choose not to.
Will Smith is one of my heroes. On Christmas, he shared, “Love is help” and noted that “everyone is facing challenges.” If this holds true, then peace must be, at the very least, the absence of harm—and we all need peace of mind.
This means that beyond not harming ourselves, we cannot afford to harm others. Life is brief. Until we release our grievances, our anger becomes our own burden. The best course of action is to bypass it entirely. Ignore toxic individuals, voice your frustrations, remain curious, do what’s necessary, but ensure it leads to forgiveness.
- Trust in yourself first.
Given that everyone struggles, chaos reigns, and no one truly has everything figured out, it makes sense to trust yourself. I know it’s a cliché, but I continually return to this succinct quote from Steve Jobs:
“Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use.”
More often than not, what we accept as reality is merely one of many possible outcomes. You can create your own possibilities, but only by experimenting with your unique experiences—your personal data is what truly matters.
- Ultimately, the only person who can truly forgive you is yourself.
For every success, there are likely ten failures. Yet, everyone is preoccupied with correcting their own missteps, leaving little time to console you through yours.
In the end, it doesn’t matter because you alone have the power to grant yourself the ability to move forward, to let go of regrets. Consider this: you can endure everything except death—something none of us can escape.
I wonder what lessons I'll uncover by the time I turn 29. I hope to discover fewer than 14. For now, this is everything I want my 28-year-old self to remember. If he revisits this reflection occasionally, I believe he can maintain his essence while evolving every day.
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